he finds excuses to call me up, even though he says he doesn't "like" me anymore
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
In my three-year relationship with my fiance, I never once claimed to be perfect. He always knew I was a sensitive person and claimed to understand that. However, as time went on, he started to emotionally batter me and tell me how horrible I was. He would call me stupid and crazy, and basically make me feel as if I had no worth at
all. When I would ask him why he was with me if he felt that way, he would never give me a straight answer. In Dec. of 04, he proposed to me. Because things had been well for a while, I accepted. This past July we had a baby boy. We were both so excited and things were going so well between us. We wanted to get married this coming April. Gradually, the emotional turmoil began again.
I've also had problems getting along with his parents because they are manipulative and never have anything nice to say. They want what they want when they want it, and seemingly expect for everyone to bow in their presence. my
fiance is very dependent on his mother. I feel as if my son and I take a back seat to his parents. We recently got into an argument over this that lasted for a week, on and off. He would not have a cordial conversation
with me, allowing me to explain the hurt I felt without him raising his voice and insulting me to the point of incontrollable tears and depression. I told him that I needed for him to stop putting me down and to make our son and me his first priority. I tried to express to him how much he hurts me, and that I love him very much even through all of this. All he tells me now is that I'm insane and stupid, and he can't stand me. In the past we had soooo many good times. I want that back. I want
to raise our son together. But honestly, the way he toys with my mind is REALLY making me lose it. I have been trying to not talk to him recently, but he finds excuses to call me up, even though he says he doesn't "like" me anymore. Why is he doing this and what is going on? I can't make sense of anything anymore.
Hurt Beyond Repair
You are in a bad situation and I feel sorry for you.
I gather you two are not living together since you said he calls you. Maybe that should be your first priority is to find a way to live together. Otherwise he doesn't have to feel committed to you.
His parents are interfering with your life and I think he is listening to them instead of you. Make friends with his parents if you can. They can help you more than anyone else. Take your child over to them as often as you can so they will fall in love with the little one.
Take small presents to his parents, some sort of goodies if you can cook them. If not, buy some cookies or a cake and take it to them (and your baby).
Hope this helps some! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com