I'm so afraid that if I ask him out, I might be scaring away the best friend I've ever had
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
At my school, I have a best freind who is a guy. I'm 14, and he is 15. We've been close freinds even since the sixth grade. He was there for me when I went through a tough break up with my first boyfreind, and a very tough time in my life. I started liking him in the eigth grade, and we were both very shy around each other for a while. Now, we feel completely comfortable around each other, and we know all of each other's personal secrets, except for my love for him (and he won't ever tell me about his crush, either). My freinds try to discourage me from liking him, because we "just don't seem like we could be a couple", and they've tried to hook him up with a girl who he can't stand. They don't get that I love him even though he isn't rich and popular. It always seems like he's flirting with me, and I've caught him looking at me out of the corner of my eye during class. We hang out a lot, and I've given him hugs, held hands with him, sit next to him at lunch almost every day, and I am often wrapped up in the same blanket as him at cold places like football games.
I'm wondering if there is another way for me to show him that I'm interested in him as more than a best freind. I'm so worried that I might be misinterpreting his signals, because when asked, he just gives them a look and says that we're just friends. Could he really be just a naturally flirty freind? Do you think that our relationship really -is- a boyfreind/girlfreind relationship? Should I ask him about this? I'm so afraid that if I ask him out, I might be scaring away the best freind I've ever had, or loose his freindship through a breakup. Should I risk this, or stay just freinds and risk loosing what could have been a great romantic relationship?
Don't ask him out.
Instead tell him you are "developing stronger feelings" for him but that the most important thing is that you do not want to jeopardize your friendship.
You should be able to judge by his response how he feels about you. If he doesn't answer tell him you'll give him time to think it over. Then ask him the next day.
My guess is that he might already think you two are bf/gf.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com