I'd love to get back with her when i come home for summer
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi my name is C* and I am a freshman in college, and my ex is a senior in highschool. We were together for 3 YEARS. When i got to college, she was complaining that i was too busy ( I go to music school and have lots of things to do ). I assured her that i simply had not settled into school yet and things would get better. During this period she met an older guy ( she is 18 and I am 19 and i believe this guy is about 20). She finally could not take it anymore, and told me that we needed to separate for a while, and we'd get back together after things cool down.
I flipped out and called her too much telling her how i couldnt handle her with another guy. Then it came apparent that she did not want to give me a deffinite answer as to if we would get back together. She would just always say "I reeeeally feel that we will get back together".
I feel that she is just taking advantage of this opportunity to see other guys ... and that she wants me to still want her back in case she decides she wants me back.
Finally, I am learning to deal with this, and am trying to see other people to take my mind off her. My ex tells me the only thing she is sure of is that she needs time / space. So i am giving her space and trying to make her realize i can be independent and have a good time on my own, and i tell her about the musical experiences i have and the compliments my teachers give me.
She says she still loves me just as much as she always did, and I tell her how much i love her and think about her and how she is such a beautiful person ... but i no longer ask her when we'll get back together.
Now this part is embarassing ... I am a virgin because we wanted it to be perfect, and believe it or not never got around to it in the 3 years. It is crazy and i do not know how that is. She has allready lost her virginity to this new guy probably cuz he is jsut a horny guy with a hot younger girl. And she is pretty kinky and gets riled up.
I'd love to get back with her when i come home for summer ... and theres a decent chance she will go to a college right down the road ( I go to Berklee in boston, she might go to northeastern [half a mile away] )
My question is ... do you think she will get so caught up in how good all this feels because it is new, and hes probably bigger than me? (Im only as tall as her) She says she could never stop thinking about me after the 3 amazing years. Is there hope? And what can I do other than give her space, and not talk to her online unless she messages me first?
Certainly there is hope.
Especially if she goes to Northeastern. Give her the space and time she is asking for. Call her once a week just to see how she is doing.
Make sure you remain the best of friends. This is the most important thing to do. Friendship can easily turn into the old loving feelings.
Sorry you are in this situation.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com