It would feel so awkward to just start talking to him but I really want to try

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I went with this boy for about 10 months. We were really close and could honestly say that we loved each other. He was my first relationship and my first love. Then I went away for about 2 months. I was not able to see him but we talked on the phone almost every day. We got to the point were there was nothing really to talk about and I really needed to just see him and be with him. Well, when I came back, he changed and I didnít feel like I was even apart of his life anymore. He didnít make me feel important to him anymore so I broke up with him. It was a spur of the moment action because I was anger. Since that was my first relationship, I didnít know how to make it work or what to do so we basically stopped talking. To be honest, this is my biggest regret in life. I knew I couldnít be friends with him cause I still loved him so much. We kind of just went our separate ways with no real closure.
Well, it has been about a year since I have talked to him but I still think about him all the time and reminisce on all the times we shared. It would feel so awkward to just start talking to him but I really want to try and gain a friendship back with him. We have both changed and have separate lives. I am scared that I might start talking to him and all of the feelings rush back to me and I want him all over again. I donít know if he has a new special someone in his life or he is just playing it solo like me. I am afraid that I will come on to strong because I donít know how to just be friends with him. I donít want us to feel uncomfortable talking to each other. I just want us to causally become friends again with no hard feelings. My question is how to I approach him in a causal manner with out it being awkward at the same time? What should I say and how should I say it? I am pretty sure that I would be able to hold a conversation with him but I do not know how to start it off. Or is this all a bad idea and I should just forget it all? Advice
My advice is to call him or tell him that you would like to go out to lunch with him and catch up on your lives.

That is innocent enough. And, who knows, you may discover that you have grown apart and that your feelings were just left over from earlier times.

If nothing else, by the end of the lunch, if you want to, invite him to be a friend that you can hang out with from time to time. Then you can see what develops.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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