Waiting on a Cheating Boyfriend
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I met this guy through a dating service and dated for a few months. One night his nephews wife called and needed someone to talk to so I invited her over and she was going through a totally bad marriage. She asked for help on getting started with a divorce, so we tried to help her, she is 19 has 1 child taked away and ready to give birth to #2.
while she stayed with us, my boyfriend started having an affair with her and he is 38. He and her moved out and is living with her dad, I do still really love him very much, but he hurt me and several others including his previous marriage.
I really want him back even though he hurt me badly but he is involved with her and I know he is not happy fully. He said if anything ever happens to him and her he would probally come back.
Should I leave him alone and just wait or what do I do? I REALLY DO LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. I have been hurt all my life in relationships and I REALLY DON'T WANT TO LOOSE HIM. Please help. Very confused.
If you've been hurt all your life in relationships it really sounds like you're actively choosing the wrong men!! This guy not only cheated on you - he cheated on you with the married woman who was his NEPHEW'S WIFE. So he betrayed his own family, he betrayed you, he betrayed everybody for his own selfish reasons. And now he says that you should hang around because if he gets tired of this 19 year old he might want you back???
You deserve FAR FAR better than this man. A man capable of doing these things is NOT a man to trust, he is NOT a man to base your life on. Maybe you feel you deserve a man who is like this for some reason. But you do NOT. You deserve a man who LOVES you, who is FAITHFUL, who is TRUSTWORTHY, who is HONEST, who puts YOUR needs above ANYONE ELSE'S NEEDS. Period.
Truly and seriously, talk to your priest or minister or therapist or someone else in your area. Find a support group to go into. You deserve much better than him, and you really need to accept and understand that.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com