I just don't know how to proceed and that breaks my heart

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi,

My ex and I have been off and on for 2 years, always on his terms. And just to start out, I want to state that I love him very very much and really want to be with him. About 2 months ago we broke up again and now it seems like we are starting to get back together. I just don't know how to proceed with everything thing. I am really scared of being hurt by him again. Another thing is I don't know what he really wants from us. He once was able to tell me he loved me and now he says he doesn't know. However, I do know he cares about me a lot and tells me how much he misses me and that it is hard seeing me (when we are off). So I don't know if he is just in deniel or what his deal is. He does once in a while make little comments that he would be "sad" if I were to start dating other ppl. I just don't know how to proceed with all of this. I love him. Does he really want to be with me? Or does he just not want me with anyone else? Does he care about me and just has doesn't know what he wants?

I just don't know how to proceed and that breaks my heart too. I love him and he likes (maybe loves, but in deniel) me, but I can't do the back and forth thing anymore.

Any advice is helpful. Thanks. :)

RomanceClass.com Advice
Don't say you can't do the back and forth thing unless you really mean it. That's the first thing you should ask yourself deep down.

If you really mean it, then the next time he wants to break up tell him what you have decided and let him know the hard facts of life.

Meanwhile as you are getting back together, try to get him to share his feelings with you about your relationship. Go easy so you don't spook him.
He is playing a guessing game... try to get him out of that mode. (He may be playing a guessing game on himself too if he doesn't know what he wants.)

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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