My wife would often flirt openly with this woman which didn't bother me
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
My wife and I have been married a short time but been together for 3 1/2 years. She told me when we got together that she had been with other woman before which I found intriging as I have never done that. She also said that is something she wanted to do for me. Well as time went on we made friends with a couple that were neighbors of ours, just friends. We hung out a lot with them and did a lot of activities. My wife would often flirt openly with this woman which didn't bother me as you couldn't really tell if she was serious or not. The lady would often say that she wasn't into that but didn't mind the endless flirting.
My wife and I had talked in the past that it probably would not be a good idea to engage in this activity with friends as it could cause issues, well one night we all went out drinking and the next thing we knew the wifes were going at it. It was an amazing experience for me but the next day when I woke up it felt really weird. Then as days past I noticed my wife and this lady talking all the time, text messaging eachother like they were school kids in love. That is when the jealous feelings took hold of me. I have been consumed with jealousy lately and I hate it. I have talked with my wife, we have faught endlessly over this issue and it may end out marriage. I love my wife to death and would do anything for her but share her. She accusses me of being controlling etc. and trying to "own" her. She tried telling me that it would pass and that the giddyness I was seeing was normal and would go away. Well finally I have gotten my wife to agree not to pursue this woman sexually anymore but she refuses to tell this person that. She says she values her friendship with her too much to hurt her and would just avoid potentially risky situations with her and eventually the feelings of this lady would die away. She tells me if I love her I should trust her in this. She has never lied to me before but I still cannot help this overwhelming jealous feeling I have. I regret that night more than anything I have ever done and wish I could take it back but I can't. How should this be dealt with, how should I deal with these jealous feelings? Please help with this if you can, I know I sort of asked for this without knowing but I love my wife and do not want to loose her.
You really did ask for it.
Now your wife has offered you a solution to the problem. The question is are you going to trust her or not? If you want to continue your marriage you really have no choice but trust her.
With that, you should consider the matter closed.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com