From Friend into Boyfriend-Girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have a friend who i know i have fallen for. We met last year and dated for a while, but i left for college, we stayed friends though. We've had some tough times but now we are so close it is scary. Like a couple of months ago we talked about feelings, he told me he was attracted to me, but feelings may mess up our friendship because friendships last forever and relationships falter, i know that sounded like crap but its true too.
Last night we were hanging out and he was really close to me, we are always close and cuddly you know, but nothing really happens now we are friends, but we kissed. it could've been just a moment thing, but i wonder, how do i get the chance to work our way back into dating again, i mean can it work, can it happen after all this time, how do i do it, where to start, i mean i'd hate to be rejected, but i have a feeling he may think about it too, he always mentions hes glad we started over and are going slow this time, as if we were dating, but i dont know...what should i do?
RomanceClass.com Advice
I have a how-to on going from friend to lover -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/friendlover.asp
but remember that the best of lovers are always best friends. Your friend may be right in saying that *some* relationships fail - but many friendships fail, too. The ones that last are the ones that are based on real caring and not on short-lived meaningless reasons. So the *relationships* that last well are always best friendships. So becoming best friends and then taking it that 'next step' is actually the way that most happy-ever-afters work out. And seeing as how there are a ton of couples out there who went from best friend to couple, it's something that many, many people have done. Yes, it's a bit scary. Yes, you risk a bit taking that step. But it's very worth it. And really, if you are best friends, you don't lose that just because you date. If anything, you often become even better friends afterwards because you understand each other even that much better.
So yes, go slow, but keep working at it. The friendship is key to the relationship.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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