Choosing Who to Ask Out

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
ok here is my question.If a guy is going out with a girl he really likes. And his best friend which he has known for two years which is also a girl just told him that she has liked him the first time they have met. And some times just wanted to kiss him. Would the guy break up with his girl-friend and go out with his friend or stay with his girl-friend? Advice
Life is about making choices, making commitments and standing by them. Believe me, in life there are ALWAYS other people you want to kiss. It's not like you live in a solitary confinement cell and the person you're with is the only person you see, the only person that ever seems appealing. But if you go jumping ship every time someone else looks interesting, you aren't going to be happy for very long - and no girl will trust you enough to date you.

When you tell someone you want to date them, you are making a commitment to giving that relationship your best effort. You aren't saying "I will date you until someone better comes along, at which point I'll drop you immediately." That's not what life is about.

Are you happy with your girlfriend - do you two have fun together and enjoy each other? If not, have you talked about what you'd like to do differently? Dating is about learning those skills that let you last in a lifetime relationship. It's not about learning how to run away any time you hit a small road bump.

If things really do fail between you and your girlfriend, it needs to be because YOU TWO gave it your best shot and really couldn't make it work. It can't be because this other girl started coming after you sexually. If you will just cave in any time a girl flirts with you, it's going to lead to very unhappy situations in the future. And really, if she can say "come with me instead" and you say "Oh, ok" - then what's to say that when another girl comes along and flirts with you, your current girl won't worry about you running off? You'll have already proven that you can't be trusted, that you break commitments whenever you feel like it, because something else strikes you as interesting.

One of the most important things that boys AND girls look for in a boyfriend-girlfriend is someone they can trust. If you break that trust, few people will want to commit to you in the future.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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