How can I make my husband love me?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
How can I make my husband love me? He knows I love him, and I don't think there's anybody else in his life. Advice
Hopefully you two loved each other at some point in time, to have become married. Sometimes what happens in marriage is that the 'hot and heavy' passion of dating can't be maintained forever, and people get disenchanted with the normal 'quiet burn' of long-lasting love that follows. They think that love is supposed to always be hot and heavy, which it isn't.

It might also be that something has changed in your relationship - that he's lost trust in you for some reason, or the things which he used to admire in you, he doesn't see any more. People change over the years, and if two people get together because they both really love sports, and then one person turns into a couch potato, the other person is now lacking a playmate and soulmate.

You need to really sit down and talk about the relationship. He feels something is lacking. Find out what that is. Does he want more time together? More time doing certain things? Less of something? Find out what he enjoyed about your relationship before, and find ways to include it in your relationship now. Hopefully those embers of love can be stoked back into a flame!

All love takes work. It can't survive without *both* people actively maintaining it. Hopefully, if you work together, you can cause it to grow again.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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