One night she called out of the blue and really had no reason at all for why she called

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Ok here is my situation, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me 2 Ĺ months ago. She said she is very confused about things with us and needed some time and space away from me so she could figure these things out on her own. The first 4 Ĺ years of our relationship were awesome. But then we both started to get a little comfortable with each other and this led to us being at each others throats quite a bit. She has never led me to believe that there is absolutely no chance of us ever getting back together. Since day one all she has asked for is time and space to figure some things out.

For about the first month and a half I would call her quite a bit and me stupid excuses to go see her. I donít think I went a week without seeing or talking to her a least twice a week. Well a couple Fridays ago my friends had a joint bachelor/bacheloret party which we were both invited to. The night started off fine and things were going good, until I started to get a little drunk and said some things to her that made her get a little frustrated with me. She kept her distance from me for the rest of the night. Later that same night I called her on my way home and said I wanted to talk about tonight, she put up a fight but agreed. She told me some things that made me open up my eyes and realize that I was losing her. She said I miss you all the time, but then I start to think about the way you have been acting since we broke up and my feelings of loneliness go away. She also said I just want to be with my friends and do what I have to do, she said you do the same and when Iím ready I come to you.

Since that night I have not called her once that was three weeks ago. She has contacted me three times since then. One night she called out of the blue and really had no reason at all for why she called and we ended up talking for about 40min. During our conversation she asked me what I was doing for my birthday (which was 6 days away) and said she wanted to take me out to dinner for it. She called me one my birthday and wanted to know what my plans were and I told her I would let her know. She ended up showing up to the bar later that night and I was stuck there so her and her friend drove me home. In the driveway at my house, when saying good bye to her she was rubbing her hands through my hair and even said she loved me before I got out of the car. This was the first time she has said this since the break up. I havenít called her yet about dinner because I am a little busy at the time, but plan on doing it sometime this week. She also used to send me all the funny emails she got, but havenít received any since the break up, but just the other day she sent me one. Do you think that all these little things are signs that she is slowly letting me back into her life? Do you think that she is starting to have those feelings again?

She is also about to turn 22 next month, I have talked to several people that have said that some girls go through a time where they needed to feel some independence in there life. I know that this is some what common with girls this age. Maybe that fact that we talked about our future together quite a bit scared her a little. Do you think that this is what we are going through? Advice
I get more and more letters describing how 21 year old women are opting for getting some space and finding themselves.

It may be something about that age.

You are doing well. Call her infrequently just to see how she is doing. I'd advise you offer to take her out on her birthday. She seems to be growing closer to you again and if that's what you want then encourage her by respecting her space. But don't deny your feelings for her... that is important.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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