My Ex is Winking at Me

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
A male friend of mine and I let our friendship turn into love when he was still with another woman. He was not being honest with her. He said he wanted a future with me but was confused on who he should be with and worried about her children, not his, being affected. He then decided that he couldn't see me anymore because of her, and I felt the same and wrote him a letter saying that he shouldn't continue on with two women and needed to follow his heart and I would always be his friend. The other woman became aware of the letter and he didn't talk to me for two months.

Lately we have come into contact again and have had a few general conversations and one of the times when I said I'll see you later he responded with an "ok honey," and a smile and a wink. The next time was an "ok" and the third time was a smile and wink. We haven't discussed our relationship at all but I am not really sure what he is trying to get across by the wink and I would like to know if I should try and talk to him about what happened with our relationship. I don't intend to go back to the old situation but still want to be his friend because I love him, but can keep it under contol. HELP! Advice
A wink can mean 80 quadrillion things. There's no way to just guess at its meaning. If you want to be his friend, then talk to him as a friend and find out what is going on. Relationships between friends shouldn't be about guesswork and making wild assumptions based on signals. It should be about two people who are able to tell each other how they feel and what they are thinking. Talk with him!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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