My boyfriend (ex) and I broke up about a month ago

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female

My boyfriend (ex) and I broke up about a month ago, for the 3rd or 4th time. He says he doesn't know what he wants. He use to tell me he loves me and now says he doesn't know. That confuses me. When I love someone and willing to tell that person I mean it forever. Is it possible to fall out of love with someone? We dated for 2 years (off and on). It took him a 2nd or 3rd time of breaking up for him to tell me that he even loved me in the first place. (I always told him not to tell me unless he meant it as I knew it was a touchy subject for him - I knew he wouldn't say it unless he meant it). There was one time just before we broke up where he made it sound like he was going to propose to me, but then broke up with me 2 sec. later. That was weird. Also, this last time we got back together we talked about marriage a couple of different times - he even told my family at my sisters wedding he was going to marry me. He now denies ever mentioning marriage. I don't get it. What finally pushed him to break up with me this last time was because I mentioned to a friend of his (who is a girl) that I thought he was the one and that bothered him. He says he just isn't sure and feels bad that he doesn't know after 2 years. I told him it was ok not to know and it has only been 2 years. But that isn't ok with him I guess. I really love him and I think about him all the time. I know he was/is afraid of committment - he has said that. Do you think this is all it is? Is there a way I can get him back? Or do you think he really just doesn't know or think I am the one? Is there anything I can do to help him figure things out? Even if I am really not the one, I want him to be happy. I just really want it to be with me. I love him so much.

Thanks, any help or advice would be great!
- me. Advice
You should not give up on him.

He is still your friend and cares about you. He is afraid of commitment and for him two years of dating may not be enough for him to feel enough connection.

Just be there for him, to share feelings with and for support.

Ideally you would become a couple again but with less intensity so that he isn't so threatened.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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