Making that First Contact

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Theres this girl i like, she asked me out last year, but i turned her down cause i was an idiot, now im tryin to contact her. One way to do that is by email, but im starting to think she doestn have an email adress, i know this cause ive been askin around, i simply dont think she has an msn directory, so what do i do if this is true? How would i talk or even approach her, its a lil difficult, shes always with frieds and i dont wanna scare her, please write back, and im real sorry for troublin ya. Advice
What you're asking about is breaking the ice - getting those initial contacts in so you're a 'regular friend' that can then talk to her as a normal action. I have many tips on that here -

but the key is to know what will appeal to HER. It's all about you contacting her. So her likes and dislikes are the most important thing.

She can't be with friends 100% of the time, it's not humanly possible. So watch for the moments that she's alone and take advantage of them. Or at least watch for when only 1 other friend is around. You're not aiming for long, drawn out conversations. You just want her to be comfortable with you talking to her, nothing else. So if she's wearing a team jacket, say you like that team too. If she's in a class with you, ask her what the homework assignment was. If she's into horseback riding, tell her you're doing a trivia contest, and what was the type of horse ridden by the Indians?

You need to think up what would appeal to HER, what topics she would like talking about. And then you have to take the step to TALK to her about them. It's not easy, there's no 10-step-path to easy success. It involves you making the effort to go to her, and taking the time to find out what would interest her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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