My gf has told me today that if I don't figure out my insecurities she's going to leave me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hello. I have been in a Long Distance relationship for 2 years already.. We started out as Best Friends before we got into a relationship.. For the past two years we have been on and off, I mean sadly, we have not even had a 1 week Anniversary let alone 1 Yr. I have major Insecurities which I don't usually use that term I like to use the term Paranoia.. but she says it's Insecurities so I'm going to stick with that. I've had only 2 serious relationships previous to this one and the first relationship I was cheated on.. so ever since then I have this major fear of being cheated on.. My recent gf is great.. She's the best gf ever.. She doesn't lie or hide things from me even if she knows she's going to be stuck in a hole for telling me she still tells me the truth. She's always been faithful to me.. Back when we were friends she was a Player.. but she isn't like that anymore. So lately my ex girlfriend has been in the picture she's not after me though, she's after my gf.. She doesn't understand 'Leave my girl alone' She says "Your gf is a grown Woman if she doesn't want to speak to me she will do so on her own time, She doesn't need you being possessive". Which, I don't like being Possessive but I want this girl gone. She ends up going away for 2-3 months at a time but she always comes back.. In my heart I know my gf doesn't want her, even though she has everything to offer her.. Don't get me wrong, My ex is a great girl.. She'd make the best girlfriend and I think that's why I'm so scared, I know my ex can make my gf happy I just don't want to lose my gf to her. My gf tells me she Loves me and if she wanted my ex she could go to her at any point in time. It's hard for me to understand though. When I hear my ex has emailed her, No matter what is going wrong in my gfs life, My mind goes directly to my ex emailing her.. I can't get that out of my mind and I don't know why. My gf has told me today that if I don't figure out my insecurities she's going to leave me and never look back.. because she Loves and Cares for me and all I'm doing is pushing her away with my Accusing and constantly wondering about her.. I need some advice.. What can I do to get this ex out of my mind and realize my Gf Loves me and not her?

Lost Advice
Some people call your condition "low self esteem."

We have lots of tips of jealousy, take a look at them at:

They should help you. Also treat jealous thoughts as an enemy and fight them.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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