My Ex Cheated with me on his New Girlfriend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
i was dating a guy, went to school, it didnt work out but we became friends, im home from school and we went out, he has a girlfriend but we still went to hang out. while we were out one thing led to another and he "cheats" on this new partner with me. the whole time im like are you sure and umm naw i dont think so but he is sure that he wants to kiss and do a lil more...

now he is off the "i cheated" tip and we arent speaking for because he is ashamed...ive lost one of my best friends, what do i do. then he goes on to say he doesnt think he can accept how i treat him because it may sabatoge his relationships, i get mad and tell him screw him...what happened what now...ive lost him :(

we decided that we WERE going to start dating slowly and open up to one another to see what was no chance...what to do Advice
It sounds like this guy has a bit of growing up to do. You are trying to stay friends with him and support him. You go out as friends. And then he pressures you into cheating with him, even though you're hesitant. And now he's ashamed of his behavior and is claiming it's your fault, so he can't even take responsibility for what he has done.

This guy betrayed the girl he was dating. He betrayed you too - because a real boyfriend would NEVER pressure you into doing things you felt uncomfortable about. You were saying you weren't sure this was right - and he railroaded you into doing it anyway! It doesn't matter WHY you were protesting. You were showing hesitation. And he plowed right over you because of what he personally wanted. And the fact that the *reason* you were hesitating wasn't even because of your own personal body sorts of concerns, but because of *his* commitment to another person, makes it even worse.

I think you should give him some time to really think about what he's done and to hopefully grow up a bit. I would really caution that a guy that is capable of cheating and betraying his partner - and to at the same time pressure a girl into doing something she's hesitant about doing - just isn't a healthy guy to be in a relationship with. If he's capable of doing all of these things just for some casual fooling around, he's capable of doing it for all sorts of other reasons, too ...

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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