Dating a Friend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
1. What are the effects of going with your friend?
2. What will be the effects of the break-ups after the relation.
3. Does this relationship last longer that the regular (like meeting the person)? Advice
You act as if there's a set sequence that happens for every friendship-turned-relationship and that you're already assuming you will break up! Why are you even talking about how long it will last and how it will be when you break up? You should go into a relationship assuming it will NOT break up and that you two will work on it to resolve any issues. Being friends, you should be able to talk through issues and deal with them - not assume from the very start that you'll break up.

So start your mindset again. You have a friend. You want to become more than friends. And this involves you and your friend working together on the relationship and facing obstacles together. If you do, you two can get through anything. But if you start looking at this as a "will last some period of time until we inevitably break up" then you WILL break up - and probably sooner rather than later.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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