Two times down, is it a pattern?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
What in the world do women want? I'm completely baffled, and it is all an enigma to me.

I'm 20 years olds, and I've had two girlfriends (both in the last 6 months). I'm told by friends, male and female, that a lot of women/girls like me and find me attractive, but only twice have I had any sort of romantic relationship with females. I'm a very feminist thinker and show loads of respect to women, and when on dates or just hanging out I did what I could to show that I liked them, we would have fun, and just generally semed to have good times. I also tried being romantic, I'm a good cook and cooked dinner, bought a single rose, made chocolate covered strawberries and basically was the guy that men scoff at but deep down want to be. I also kept my distance, wasn't klingy or anything like that.

But in the end one girl just plain told me that she didn't want to be with me anymore, she didn't have time. The other stopped returning my phone calls and I've only briefly spoken to her once since. I guess that what I'm saying is that I think I'm a really great guy, that I would be pretty good for a lot of women, but get shot down every dang time. What is a guy like me to do? Advice
Two times hardly makes a pattern! Most people date TONS of people in life before finding one they really mesh well with. Two people is hardly anything :) It's very normal that it didn't work out! They were figuring out what they wanted in life. You were figuring it out too. You all learned something from your relationships and moved on, and the more you date, the more you learn about what works and doesn't work.

If everybody called it quits after their first two relationships, we wouldn't have any marriages and the world would cease to have new children in it :) You have to keep dating, keep learning about what works and doesn't work for you. I'm sure that you'll find a woman that appreciates what you have to offer, and who you appreciate in return.

Just remember - it's not about "pleasing a woman". It's not about "being an ideal man". It's about *you* the individual and *she* the individual being best friends. So put aside all those misconceptions about what a man "should" do for her and what she "should" expect. Those misconceptions can be most of the problem when you're first dating.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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