I'm Bored with my Boyfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
i have been with a guy for about 7 months now and at point i really liked him and although now I still care for him, my feelings have changed, lessened.
Neway, now all i wanna do is go out and have fun. I met a new group of guys and i wana go out with them and hang out and my boyfriend is holding me back from that. Theres also another guy that im interested in and he told me that he kinda likes me and whatever. I cant dump my boyfriend for alot of reasons but i honestly just dont like him the way i used to and i dont know what to do at all...
You make it seem like your half-hearted attention is better for your boyfriend than him finding a girl that really loves him. That's not very fair. Your boyfriend is in a relationship with you and thinks you're in one with him. But in the meantime you're off looking at other guys, talking to them about relationships and in essence betraying the guy you made a commitment to. And now you say you can't break up with him? The whole point of saying YES to dating someone is that you promise to be true to them. It doesn't mean you do whatever you feel like and the guy just has to live with it.
It's time for you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. In the first place, all relationships go through changes as they mature. The 'new love thrill' fades and is replaced by a more mature fondness / best friendness. If you are thrill-seeking and aren't content with the more mature love that has developed, your boyfriend DESERVES to know. He deserves to find someone who WILL love him instead of being with someone who is off galavanting with others.
But before you do that, really think about what you're doing. Thrill-seeking can be fun, but it's short lived. There are lots of thrills in life, but there are very few people who will stay with you through thick and thin, who really understand you. If you're willing to ditch someone when the 'fun' turns into 'normal', then the next guy that comes along will be ditched too when he isn't 'fun'. And does that mean that you yourself are expecting to be tossed out if you're not 'fun enough' on a given day? Relationships are about accepting a person the way they are even as days change and seasons change.
In any case, if you really are not willing to commit yourself 100% to your boyfriend any more, give him the respect he deserves and let him find someone who *will*.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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