She Loves Me - She Wants Me to Go

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
What does she mean? I was dating a girl for 2 years and we broke up. It is a long story but things ended because of me but I tried to get her back and she has totally changed. She says hurtful things to me and tells me to leave her alone. At the same time she says she is still in love with me and has not gotten over me. Then she tells me to move on.

She knows that I will stop talking to her if 1. she doesn't love me anymore 2. She has hooked up (Will not answer the question) It not my place to ask but a "yes" would make me angry enough to move on. What is she doing. The relationship was going to end up in marriage and now she has totally changed. I have been through so much pain and she doen't seem to care. How can she still love me? Advice
You say things ended because of you. But every relationship is about two people, who both have an equal responsibility to talk, communicate, work on issues, handle problems. No relationship ever ends solely because of one person.

You can love someone and care for them, and still not be compatible enough to live with them. It sounds like she has decided this is the state you two are in. But NOBODY who loves someone should ever say hurtful things to them. That is not love. Love is not about harm or abuse, ever. It is about caring for, supporting and taking care of the other person. Even if she has decided she doesn't want to live with you, it gives her no right to be hurtful to you. That is not love.

Whatever she may say, her actions are showing quite differently. I would give it some time to heal and then offer to take her to dinner as a friend. Sit down and talk about what happened, as friends, to give you both some closure. Maybe you can resolve some issues, maybe you can just work out a way to stay friends going forward. But it definitely seems like you need some time and also some talking to get through this.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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