i wanted to break up with him right away. but i dont know if i should
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
i just recently met this guy at this special place on the 7th of november 2004. when we met for the first time we both liked each other, but we didnt talk to each other because he was with another girl and i thought that they were dating because someone had told me so. and also there was another guy who liked me too. but i only thought of him as a friend. one time he asked a cousin of his to come ask for my phone number but they asked my younger sister instead, but she didnt give it to them. so he didnt get my number. as it goes on, two weeks later he got my phone number from a friend that he knew and knew my younger sister. so he called me up. that's when we started talking to each other. a week after that we started dating. everything was fine then. i guess our relationship was going too fast too, but we loved each other a lot. next thing i knew we were doing all these things like kissing and hugging. everything was going fine until we both met another girl. i became friends with her. she was his younger brother's friend. she started liking him when she first spoke with him. then after awhile i knew that she liked him, but i didnt do anything about it. they spoke on the phone once in a while. i didnt want to end their friendship and i didnt want them to be angry at me. so i didnt do anything about it. as it goes on i also found out that the guy that had given him my phone number also liked me too when he first saw me. but he was only a good friend to me. i loved him like a brother of mine. at first he tried to break us up, but after awhile it didnt work so he gave up. the girl also tried too, but she gave up when she realized that my boyfriend and i loved each other alot. my boyfriend and i would sometimes sneak out to see each other at night. during the day we met each other at a park near my house since i couldnt drive yet. everything was fine. then one day i was getting ready to go to school. i called him at five in the morning because he wanted me to wake him up. so i did. we talked for a while. then after a while we hung up. he said that he would call me back. so i waited, but he didnt call. so i called him back but his dad said that he wasnt in. so the bus came and i left for school. the same thing happened the next day too. i asked him where he was in the morning that night. he said that he was outside watering his mom's garden. i believed him. final exams was that same day and the next. so on the last day of exams he finally confess to me about those two days when. he told me that the girl had called him to go walking with him the next day around 5 in the morning. but he refused. i didnt know anything so i asked why he refused. he kept quiet for a while then he told me that those two days that i called and he was home in the morning...it was because he was with her. i was shocked for a moment. then i said, "so you lied to me then?" he said yes. i just kept quiet. when my friend knew that i knew she called to apologize to me. i didnt know what to do so i forgave her. but things happened again between them. i asked him if he did anything with her at her house those two days. he said that he kissed her cheek and hugged her because she wanted him to. i was hurt. as it goes on the girl and i were going to be moving. so we moved and she moved. when she called him he wouldnt talk to her. so she stopped calling him. when i moved i stopped calling him and after a while he stopped calling me too. he used to come pick me up from work most of the time but he dont no more. when i call him again he would be off somewhere with his cousins. and now some of my friends are saying that they saw him with another girl at this tournament. but he said that he was not with any other girls. some of my friends said that he wasnt and some said that he was. i dont know who to believe anymore. we've dating for almost a year now. also not many days ago the girl she called me up and confessed about everything that had happened to between her and my boyfriend. we both cried on the phone. when i heard everything i was hurt really bad. my boyfriend admitted to some of what she said but not to some. i wanted to break up with him right away. but i dont know if i should. i love him a lot. i've never tried to argue with him and i let him do whatever he wants so that he can see how much i love him, but i dont know if he sees it or not. sometimes in my mind it says to break up with him but i dont know. even though i know about all the bad things that he has done to me i still love him alot. i'm really hurt but i still love him even so. i guess i must be stupid or something. i dont know what to do. i mean in the beginning there were a lot of girls that liked him too, but he chose me over them all and they were all better looking than me too. he tells me all the time that he loves me. i also told him that i would never leave him and i will love him forever. not only that but he is divorce and has a kid. i love him and his kid. just the other day we were both talking about all the girls that like him. he said that they like him but only one loves him and that one is me. another thing too is that his parents and relatives wont let him and me be together. we both know for a really long time that they are all against me and him together. but he ignored them and still stayed with me. my family wont admit that he does love me alot too. i say that he is just using me. i dont know what to do anymore. i need a lot of advice. i hope that someone can help me out. should i stay with him or should i break up with him?
As long as you love him, and can stand occassional pain, don't break up.
But you must tell him that he has to cut out seeing other girls. It isn't fair to you or to your relationship. Trust and honestly are important parts of a loving relationship.
So ask him to promise he will be faithful to you. If he isn't, you'll be faced with this situation again.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com