Iíve been doing the whole best friend thing as good as I can since May
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
You always advise people on this site that, if they want their exís back, to be their best friend. Well Iíve been doing the whole best friend thing as good as I can since may and I still donít have my man back. Before we broke up we were together three years. Then over a month ago he told me he had a new girlfriend. A co-worker, who Iíve heard is just on the rebound from being engaged....but Iíve never heard this from her so Iím not sure what she really thinks. Iíve heard things about her that make her seem like she is not his type, it seems like they donít share the same interests and that she isnít even that pretty. Since we broke up I have dated at least ten guys and havenít found a single one I can stand so I figure he stayed by my side through all that so I can wait this one girl out. But now it has come to the point where him and his new girl seem to be getting serious, rather than just a fling. I know this because they got into a fight because he wasnít spending enough time with her and instead of telling her to go to hell he surrendered. He still is ready and willing to cheat on her with me, because that is the only way we stayed ďbest friendsĒ since we broke up in February. But its not like he is just using me for sex. We will spend large chunks of time together....like 26 hours or more and two weekends ago he drove home (two hours) to see me. It has come to the point now where Iím pretty much desperate to have him back in my life, full force, without her. I have been honest with him about how I feel and I even told him since I have been out in the real world I havenít found a single person that compares to him. I have tried everything except letting him think I left him and Iím not coming back. So that is what I did. I wrote him a text after I found out he took the girl back (Iím assuming this because I called last night because I needed his help and he didnít answer or call me back) that said I just couldnít do it anymore. Do you think this will work? Is it better to put my foot down rather than just tell him I love him and whatever happens I will still be there? It seems like he does still love me, but then why does he insist on staying with this other girl? And how does a person know when its really time to move on and stop with the whole friends thing?
You keep on being his best friend until you feel there is no hope.
In any case, you may continue being his best friend even after you give up hope of getting him back.
So, you have to decide when you are going to give up. Your heart will tell you. Meanwhile, enjoy what you can.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com