Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
i got a bestfriend whom i cared so much! she is already 19 years of age and already got so many boyfriends since high school years. the last time she had her boyfriend was just last year. it was really a trauma for her because that was the time when she decided to have sex with her boyfriend..
after he got my bestfriends heart, he immediately asked her to sleep with him. For so many attempts, my bestfriend said "NO" to him but after some time, she gave in. (but they did it just once)

many days after that night they have slept together and doing "SEX", her boyfriend broke up with her. HE DUMPED HER saying he cant bear already the attitude of my bestfriend. my bestfriend of course was badly hurt!!! and of course, it doubled mine. i cared so much for my friend. i was given the responsibility by her parents to take good care of her here but just because of that guy who just dumped her after he had sex with her.. my bestfriend was depressed at that time, really depressed. she was worried that maybe no man or boyfriends or husband will respect her because she's not already virgin. most of us here believes that we should keep our virginity to our husbands to be..and like it or not, my bestfriend believes this too!

but during their intercourse, she noticed she did not bleed. even after that moment, she didnt feel pain. Does this mean, she hadnt loose her virginity? what are the signs of losing one's virginity?

worst of all, her ex-bf asked her just last week to regain all the past. he want her again. my bestfriend just said "YES" because i dont know!! maybe because she dont have a boyfriend now and that she wanted to show to people that she's not that ugly!! i once asked her, she told me that she was afraid no man will accept her as a good wife so better have him back. she already settled for him. honestly i dont like him!! i really dont like him!! he's not that responsible and he's very insesitive. i am just afraid maybe he will insist and force her again to have sex.. what shall i do to help my bestfriend? please do help me and my bestfriend. i want to help her. she's already depressed maybe as much as i do.

thanks so much and more power! Advice
The best you can do is be there to listen to her and give support.

She is the best judge of how she feels about this guy and despite what you may think, she is doing the best she can do with her life.

She didn't bleed or hurt because her hymen was probably already broken by playing sports, riding bikes, or just using a tampon.

Help her understand that most men accept the fact that their wives are not virgins upon marriage. Whatever the ideal may be, reality is different.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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