do i keep letting my partner bring up my past when i don't do that to her?

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
do i keep letting my partner bring up my past and grill me with questions when i don't do that to her? It's been 2 years since we'e dated and one year of that is marriage...we both have a past but regardless of issues of the past we have gotten married...and that was one a the good things we have gotten over things and GOTTEN married...she brings of issues from the past and the pain of rethinking them has me now getting a little ill...if i said something wrong and don't answer any of the question then she says i am not being understanding caring for her feelings and not letter her get over things...i tell her the past is in the past and us as a whole has gotten us through..her sister has told me that she hangs on to stuff to long and i really am getting a bit pissed cause i want us to live and be totally happy and saying our vows to me washed all the past away...please help me with some sought of answer...thank Advice
It is totally unreasonable for her to keep dragging up the past.

You need to make that crystal clear to her and that you are setting a limit, say six months after which you will no longer answer questions about your past.

If this doesn't work, you two (especially her) need to see a professional counselor and get some advice.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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