Jealousy over Strip Poker

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This situation happened a few months ago, but it is still bothering me. On new year's eve (also our 6 month anniversary) my girlfriend and i were at her house with a few other people. We had a little to drink, and it was time for me to go home.

When i got home i called her house. She picked up, and to my missfourtune i found that she was playing strip poker with my best friend and another guy that she says she hates. After, she told me that she didn't get entirly naked (in her bra & panties) but i still feel hurt. I feel like my trust has been broken. She has told me that she didn't know what she was doing and that she would never have done it in the right state of mind. She has sworn to me that she will never do it again and she apoligized so many times to me.

The problem is i still feel hurt and i want to let it go. I normally would be able to, but for some reason it still hurts me to this day. I also have other doubts about her, but i'm almost positive that they steam from this situation. please help me out because i do not want to loose her. i don't want this feeling to tear us apart. Advice
There are many, many things that cause jealousy in couples, some founded and some unfounded. Yours sort of falls in between the innocent and the guilty. Yes, she shouldn't have been playing strip poker with other guys. I imagine she was pretty drunk and that they pressured her into it and it just seemed wild and exciting at the time. People do silly things sometimes - skinny dipping, strip poker, spin the bottle - that are sort of 'wild flings' rather than actual 'cheating' sorts of things.

It's not that she kissed another guy or did anything else. She was playing a game and is really sorry about it. Again I agree she probably shouldn't have, but we all do silly things in life sometimes. And yes, I can imagine you are very jealous about it. But sometimes in life these things happen and we have to accept them and move on.

I have lots of pages on the site about dealing with jealousy and was actually thinking about putting together some sort of 'working through jealousy' worksheet set. Maybe I'll do that this week. But in the meantime read the content that's there now, tell her that you're going to work on it and that together you can get through it. Couples get through FAR far worse than a strip poker game, and come out much stronger. So you need to say to yourself every day that she DOES love you, you DO love her, and really that is all that matters going forward.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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