Does my Ex Really Want me Back?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've talked to my exboyfriend (that was my boyfriend for almost 3 years) once since he just got up and left one day. Then 2 days ago he calls me out of the blue and asks to see me? We talked finally!! This was the first time he actually admit he was wrong and APOLOGIZED! I can't believe it! He has never admitted that he was wrong.
Now, he says he still wants me, he still loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. Did he just need time off to go do whatever with someone else for 2 months or what is trying to do to me? I still love him but I don't know if he is really ready to commit to me? Should I give him another chance? Or is he just playing games with me? I don't know? I just don't want to get hurt again. Any advice will help. Thank you.
Two months seems like a fair amount of time to get through the rebound stage, so it's probably not that he's just saying "I'm lonely, it's easiest to get her back." And it's a good sign that he's admitting he's partially to blame - although don't say that it is all his fault! Every relationship involves two people, and both people need to work on communicating and talking and honesty. So be sure that you recognize and admit that you had some share of what went on and what failed.
It's not just a matter of you giving him another chance. You had a long term relationship and something went seriously enough wrong to tear it apart. You two need to sit down and have a long, serious talk about all of it. Not in a "you did this" or "I did that" manner - but in a "TOGETHER we did not find a solution to X" and "TOGETHER we had trouble figuring out Y". Yes, it's hard to talk about it. But you really have to talk about it now before you go back into it again - otherwise you will break up all over again and it will be even more painful than last time.
Make the effort to work out what the issues were and how you BOTH need to find ways to solve the issues. If you both, together, find ways to work on them going forward, then it can definitely work out.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com