I suggested breaking up completely, but he doesn't think we should
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 26 yrs old and my boyfriend is 25 yrs old. We met online, spoke on the phone for a few months before meeting, and then decided to meet up and there was an instant attraction, almost love at first sight. We lived about 4 hours from eachother, so we decided to move in together soon after we met. It has been almost 2 years since we have been dating/living together. We have had many ups and downs, many problems outside of our relationship interfering with our relationship, but we have never really had any issues with eachother. Also, we spent all our time together and never really had alone time and we sort of shut out friends and family. So my boyfriend just told me now that he truly cares about me and sees me in his future and wants me long term, however he doesn't know what to do for the short term. He said that he is attracted to me physically, mentally, and emotionally and says we are extremely compatible. He said that he has become very suffocated and needs space. He said he has that male urge to go out and explore and be single again, so he suggested we see other people. We live together right now and I am not able to move out until 4-6 months because that is when a room in my friend's aprtmnt becomes available. I am moving into the other bedroom in our aprtmnt to give him some space because he is dealing with pressure from his work and personal issues with his family. He says he is not ready for marriage and that it is the next step in our relationship since we already live together and he said we have reached a fork in the road. I suggested breaking up completely, but he doesn't think we should. I truly love him and want to be with him, but I want to protect myself from getting hurt any further. Do you have any thoughts, advice, or words of wisdom, or encouragement? What is your opinion on taking a step back in a relationship? What are your thoughts on seeing other people...or taking time off in a relationship? Please respond ASAP...Thank You so much
My advice is to see a professional family relations counselor and see if you can resolve your problems that way.
Generally I don't go with the idea of taking a break. Instead a couple should learn to work out its problems together... that is part of being a couple and and important part of a healthy relationship.
Considering how you love him and he loves you, and the good relationship you have shared so long, if there has to be a break then you should consider going along with it with a time limit after which you either stick together or break up.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com