all of a sudden things started going back to the way they were before

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am having problems with my boyfriend. we have been together for 6 mths and we broke up once. when we got back together i thought things would be different than before. when we first got back together, things were going great. he was always calling and talking nicely, there werent any arguments. all of a sudden things started going back to the way they were before. we hardly talk or see eachother. i am tired of making an effort that isnt accountable. but he doesnt end with me either. he tld me that night we when got back together that my best friend tried to sleep with him while we were together before. i confronted my best friend about the situation and she sounded guilty. she called him and left nasty messages from him. that made him furious and he got mad at me and i thought he was going to end it with me but he didnt. i guess things were okay. i apologized and he forgave me. i hate being rude to him and arguing with and i always apologize. but sometimes i think he is cheating on me. i checked his email ( i know i shouldnt have) but i saw these emails from an old female freind of his. she has been emailing alot but it seems mostly friendly. i really dont know what to think. but i know i cant ask him anything. i guess i just really want to rekindle the love that we have. one of my friends told me to just start ignoring him like does me. i stopped answering his calls through out the day and he would blow up my phones that knows. and gets really upset when i do pickup. we work together so he will act like he was just looking for me to talk about work. but we hardly talk about that. i really dont know what to do.i know i dont want to end anything because the last time i did i was really hurt. i just want us to spend more time together and i try not to complain when we cant but i dont want to do anything that would make him end it with me. the last time we ended it was because i got really nagging and questioned him too much. i told him if he would give me a 2nd chance that i would definitly change and i have to a certain extent. like today, i ignored his calls all day until the afternoon. when i finally answered he was like i know you are pissed off at me thats why you arent answering. i told him i had no reason to be pissed off, i have just been busy. he finally came into the office he started being really rude with me which for some reason really depressed me. he kept on asking me what was wrong and that he was getting worried and i told him i was fine. sometimes i just get the feeling htat he keeps on giving me reasons to end things but i dont understand why we got back together if he would want to play games with me. i am not sure what to do. please help!! Advice
You need to stop playing your own games before expecting him to stop.

Refusing to answer his calls is a game so stop that.

When he asks what is wrong, tell him the truth (in a gentle, loving way).

You have improved on the nagging thing so that is in your favor.

Try to engage him in close, tender, loving, honest, sincere, and open discussions about how you feel. And give him his chances to answer too. But he needs to also be gentle and loving while talking. Making these changes in how you interact will bring a new glow to your relationship I'm sure.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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