she told me she didnt want me to call her, write her, stop by and we couldnt be friends

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Me and my ex-girlfriend were together on and off for 5 years with about 3 bad breakups this one being the fourth one. We have never been apart more than two months on any break up and she has always dated someone else, which has never worked,i am guessing because it was a Rebound, and she has always came back. I have always before wrote here letters, sent cards and flowers. Even when she told me not to. This time she told me not to call, write, or stop by her house. She was the not only my best friend but almost my only one I had. It has been just over a month and i still miss her badly. For the first couple of weeks she would call me late at night and talk and some times cry, or talk online for a while if she was on. Then it stopped, and it was a week before she called me even after i left a note on her door, then she called me the next sunday after i called and left her a message. She told me I needed to move on, like she always does when she is starts seeing a new guy after breaking up. I told her had actually tried and that had talked to some girls and even had chances to go on dates but it didnt feel right yet. Then I asked her if she was dating someone and she was finally honest with me for the first time and said she had been seeing this guy. Before she always lied and said she wasnt till I saw her out with someone. She told me she didnt talk to me that week because she was dating him. That is when she told me she didnt want me to call her, write her letters or stop by and we couldnt be friends anymore. My heart is breaking not talking to her. I have never went this long while broke up with her to talk to her. I would like us to be friends but i dont know how. I want to respect her wishes but i also want to send her a card to just say i was thinking of her, nothing else, but i dont want to be intrusive in her space. i cant honestly tell my self she doesnt really love me because she because i think in her heart she does. But she is independent and strong willed. And alot of the time i was very possessive and overprotective partly because I love her so much and partly because of me being insecure. Does she think of me as much as i think of her during the day. Does she really not want to talk to me or is it she just that needs space and time away from me to miss me more? Or she is just waiting on me to call her? I am talking to some other women but it isnt the same and really doesnt take the pain away. What do i really need to do? Advice
It's hard to deal with because this has happened so many times before and she always came back.

Continue to do what you used to do to get her back, but set a limit on how long you will let her dangle you along. After all, there is only so much you can take.

Choose a date that seems comfortable to you and tell yourself that if you two are still apart or still far apart, that you will finally dump her and continue your search for someone new.

After all, there is only so much you can put up with.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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