I think I understand pretty well how jealousy works and how to fight it
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been dating my girlfriend for quite a while now, and at first, I never got jealous, but as time went on, it slowly built up. I especially get upset at the times when I am expecting to do something with her, but then for some reason or other she ends up doing something with other friends.
This is just one of many incidents: One time, we had been planning all week to spend Saturday together--just the two of us. all day, no cell phones, just us. Well, I had work that morning, and she ended up going to a movie with a friend. The movie didn't get done until an hour after I finished work. I was extremely upset. I totally blew up (I know I shouldn't have). I waited for the movie to finish, and then I drove like a crazy man to where they were and yelled at her and the friend who she was with. He is also a friend of mine (and gay by the way), and I told him he was an unfaithful friend and said things like, "Yeah, it's fun hanging out with my girlfriend when I'm not around, huh?"
Well, due to my jealousy driven rage, I lost that friend, and my girlfriend broke up with me. We still see each other all the time, and she says she still loves me and would like to marry me... if I change.
The thing is, I've thought through things, and I really realize how self-destructive my jealousy is. It is based on a fear of losing this girl who I love dearly, but conversely pulls us further apart. I've been getting better at keeping my cool, but every once and a while the stress and stuff just builds up and I repeat the same thing again.
I think I understand pretty well how jealousy works and how to fight it, and I can do it most of the time, but my question is how do I keep that up consistently? How do I keep these outbursts from coming again?
RomanceClass.com Advice
Try to invoke jealousy in yourself by thinking of jealous scenes.
If the jealous feelings arise then pinch yourself and remind yourself that it is only make believe. Then when the feelings arise for real, remember to pinch yourself and that will give you time to adjust yourself and not blow up.
Hope this method works for you!
George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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