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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm really lost here because there's a whole lot of stuff going on. There was this girl that I met this year in High School, and we really hit it off good. We go to movies together, we went to my school's semi formal together. So I got up my courage one day and asked her out. Well turns out she's now going out with a guy living in a whole other province. I'm not gonna say which one I'm in or he is but it's a good 2 day drive between us. The guy I guess moved away like last year sometime and they kept in touch because they were friends and he comes back for a week or so around Valentine's day. I guess somethin happened and he even sent her flowers on Valentine's day so now they're going out.

I mention the distance because she's just turned 16 and me and the other guy are almost 16 but we're still 15. I really can't see how a relationship could work at this age when they live so far apart. I accepted the whole thing and even gave her my best wishes. She said to me that if it didn't work out between them then maybe me and her could work so I guess I'm fine with that. I dunno what to do I'm really conflicted things feel kinda weird now between us. We still get along fine but not like we use to.

Should I just continue to be there as her freind or what? I'm really confussed here and I'm starting to have feelings for another girl now too she's an old crush that kinda got brought back up because she seems to show a lot of interest in me lately and I dunno what to do. Please just give me some advice on how I should handle things because now I feel really crappy and confussed on how to go from here. Anything you can give me will help what should I do now?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Well first, lots of 15 and 16 year olds date long distance, because it can be really hard to find good matches in your local high school. Usually you only have between 150 and 500 of the opposite sex to choose from! That's hardly anything in the grand scheme of things. So it's not that strange that she ended up finding someone far away.

If she has someone else, then I definitely would look into dating this other girl. Yes, you can remain friends with the first girl, and who knows what the future would hold. But she has someone, and you deserve to have someone as well. Life doesn't mean you only like one person. It's quite normal to have several female friends if you're male. It means you are well rounded and have an open mind. So date the girl you're interested in, and stay friends with the other. You might find that your "main" relationships are wonderful, and that you still find that you enjoy your friendship with each other.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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