I really want to be his friend, he is my best friend (and I am still in love with him)
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I am good friends with my ex of 2 and a half years, we broke up almost 3 months ago. We still love eachother, and are there for eachother a lot.
But I have a dilemma. I absolutely love spending time with him and being his friend. I really enjoy his friendship (and even more that we share still). The problem is though, that I can't stand hearing about things he does now from other people, or seeing him places with other people, etc. I completely avoid him or the topic of him unless we are actually talking or hanging out, because it honestly makes me feel sick and I cry once I am alone.
I don't want to end the friendship, I really want to be his friend, he is my best friend (and I am still in love with him). But it is really, really hard for me. It's like he took me out of most of his life (we only hang out in private mostly) and he has so much fun with me gone now. I refuse to look at pictures he has taken with friends (people I dont know, part of his new life) or hear certain stories he tells me, I tell him please not to talk about it. I also take things extremely hard that he does (like if he forgets to call) and get upset really easily and it ruins the time we spend together sometimes.
This is not a healthy friendship, and it is stressing me out a lot, but I can't imagine taking him out of my life. Is there any way I could be his friend but work on myself so it is easier for me?
Try actively enjoying his other life with him.
This will be difficult at first, but it is the only way you can maintain a best friendship or more.
It's a mountain to climb, but if you want the flower on top it is worth it.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com