Long Distance is Coming Up
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I feel that I am totally in love and have found my soulmate. We are so much alike that at times I get frustrated knowing that what I don't like in myself in showing up in him! He is so sweet, considerate, and a pretty much Godly individual who does his best to make sure that I am well taken care of.
But at times he gives me 'mixed signals'. What I mean is, one day he'll tell me that he really loves me and that he's going to miss me when embark on my own personal career in another state, but then the next moment he acts as though the feelings aren't there and that he's afraid to tell me what really is on his mind. At first he would be concerned about all of the 'drama' people were giving us about our relationship, but now he doesn't seem to care! (about what everyone else thinks of course)
Anyway, his perspectives on things have changed since his acquaintance with me. He doesn't think the way he used to and neither do I. I will truly miss him in the years to come, and now that I am getting ready to leave he seems as though he is opening up more and drawing closer as well. He often tells me how he feels, but then when I tell him (or repeat back to him essentially what he told me and agree with it), he doesn't want to hear it. He becomes uncomfortable when I talk about the future relationships I may have with other guys. It's like I feel as though he really doesn't want me to be with anyone else.
Our relationship I guess resembles that of movies. (you know the ones where the main character leaves for another life, finds someone else, but ends up going back with the one she thought her feelings had grown old for?) I am so in love with him, and he told me he was in love with me as well. He's everything that I've wanted in a man and more, and we are so much in tune with one another that it's scary at times.
I don't want to lose him, and I will miss him dearly, because he truly has been a great friend that has stuck by me through hardships 'closer than a brother' ever could. What should i do about this guy? I believe in fate and soul mates, but sometimes I wonder if he is the one for me or is it someone else?
Please help me I am at a serious relationship crossroads that greatly will influence my life from here on out. Thanks-LT
I'm confused. You guys are deeply in love and care for each other. But you're going to abandon each other just because you are moving? If you read my site, there are thousands and thousands of people out there who maintain long distance relationships and are quite happy with them. Why are you guys just abandoning your relationship because you're moving?
There's one kind of love - the kind that says "you're fun when you're around, but if you're not, ah well." That's where one person moves and the other says "I'll miss you, it'll be hard of thinking of you with someone else, but such is life." That's not a movie, that's how most relationships are. People move all the time, because of school or jobs or families. What you describe happens *constantly*.
But there's another kind of love - the kind that says "We are a special team and what we have is worth actively spending time and effort on." Those people would be working out their visitation schedules, how they will keep in touch while they are apart, and considering ways that some time in the future they could be together again.
You need to sit down and ask yourself why you fell into that first category, and not into the second ...
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com