he had been good friends with a girl since the first year of university
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met my current boyfriend over a year ago on my degree course, a mutual friend let us know that he liked me alot but I was still in a relationship. Over last summer my (now) ex-boyfriend and me split up and returining to university i spent alot of time with my current boyfriend and by december of that year we started seeing each other. However, he had been good friends with a girl since the first year of university and there was always speculation he fancied her she used to call him late at night to see if he wanted to come out to parties etc.
When we began to go out together she never spoke to me and became quite cruel if i bumped into her alone but nice if he was around. I kept this to myself for a while until I couldnt bear it anymore so I told him - he found it difficult to believe and said she's a ncie girl...leaving me feeling like it was all in my head. Also when we would go out she would be very flirty with him drapping her arms around him and his body language was always very open to her and I believe he enjoyed it.
Recently on a night out i got really upset and another of his friends (who is a girl) consoled me and said she knew how two faced the girl was and not to worry as she knew he loved me and I believe she spoke to him about it and know he has changed his opinion completely on her and said he'd rather she wasnt around as she was horrible to me.
However last week on another night out she was there and he got very nervous and wanted to leave and when we eventually left he started arguing with me about little things which led me to believe he was annoyed with me.... I can't help but think he has feelings for her and really fancies her and is frustrated with me for getting in the way?? I did speak to him about this and he said it'd been built up for ages in his mind and he couldnt handle it....
Now I'm not sure what to do....I know I have jealousy issues and fear of being cheated on from previous relationships... But I am still worried in my mind as to what his feelings towards her were and what they are now....? Sometimes I feel like a substitute for her....
Seems you two have good open lines of honest communications.
Take advantage of this to talk out your worries with him... even if you have done so before because, obviously, you are still bothered by this.
He should be willing to help quiet your fears if he is any kind of boyfriend at all. Be gentle and non-confrontational in your discussions.
I hope this turns out ok!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com