A month and a half ago while we were drinking one night he told me that he was bisexual
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok...I am a 27 year old female who has been with a guy for over 3 and a half years. A month and a half ago while we were drinking one night he told me that he was bisexual, he said that before he felt in love with me he slept with some guys and he enjoyed it. He said that it did not happen anymore after our relationship got stronger and his feelings for me were stronger too. And that he loves me and that he cannot be without me.
This was very traumatic for me. I grew up in a culture were men do not sleep with men, and although I have nothing against homosexuals or bisexuals, I never thought that the man I was going to spend my life with would be a bisexual man. Afetr that our relationship has been going thru an adaptation phase (thats what I call it) even though we enjoy each other company that is always in the back of my mind. the whole dynamics of the relationship has been changed. I sometimes feels jealousy when he says he is with another male friend, not to the point where I say anything ......And now I find myself in love with this man who is bisexual but he says he loves me. I do not know what to do, although I love him dearly I deep inside feel that I do not want to marry a bisexual man. I really do not know what to do. What if years down the road he decides he wants to see other men because no matter what I do, I cannot give him what a man can give him. I really need advice....we have a really cool realtionship but everything has changed in my mind due to this...I have decided to take it one day at a time but thats not helping either...I am really tormented over this bisexuality issue that I do not understand and really dont want to deal with...please help me...
RomanceClass.com Advice
I found this quote on the Internet:
"Research carried out at the Harvard School of Public Health, USA in 1994 found that 20.8% of the men and 17.8% of the women studied admitted to same-sex sexual attraction/behavior at some time in their lives."
http://www.religioustolerance.org/bisexuality.htm
This would indicate that your boyfriend is not extraordinarily different that other people.
But what is important is how you feel. From what you said, you are very uncomfortable with your boyfriends admission. That is your right to feel as you do and if you can't come to grips with it then your only real choice is to drop him and find someone else.
My advice is to search your mind and feelings very deeply and then make a decision based on the results.
Good luck!
George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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