during the time that things were not serious enough she had sex with some guys
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hello, I am a 28 yr old male. I had been sleeping with a girl for over 3yrs but nothing serious. However, about a yr ago things starting changing and now we have sort of a more serious relationship. the problem is that during the time that things were not serious enough she had sex with some guys known to me. Nothing more than casual sex but it happened, at the same time, I had another girlfriend and I was seeing other women too. The thing is that during that time since I never thought we could have something more than sex I did not care that she had slept with those people. however, now that everything is different it bothers me. I cant get it out of my head and it really prevents me from moving ahead with the relationship. she is a really good girl and she seems to really love me. But it is me the one that cannot go on. Please advise me and help me. I really like the girl and we get along ok but that past really bothers me, specially since the guys she slept with are knwon to both of us and within our circle of friends.
You want to get closer to her, right? And you are an adult so you are mature enough to realize that life is not all peachy keen.
Pretend you have an anti-jealousy muscle and you are making it stronger. Every time you get jealous, use that muscle to fight against the jealousy. Pretty soon the "muscle" will be so strong that jealousy won't have a chance.
It's time to fish or cut bait. You can't torment yourself over what is really nothing in the larger scheme of things. Sue it stings a bit, but you can take it.
Once you are ready, get closure on this by telling her that you were jealous but that you have fought it off and you are ready to move on.
Best of luck!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com