I LOVE this person dearly....but yet no passion is left
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Right now I hae been in a relationship for about 2 years. Me and this guy are now engaged and have been for about 6 months. How I met this guy is when I moved to a new place and starting working and met him through work...and about 2 weeks later we were dating.....he is shy so I had to go through a friend that worked there to tell him....anyway the point is now that I have been tempted by many guys and almost gave into temptation with one....before we were engaged and I thought about dating other guys all the time wondering if I would be happier.. Also I don't have any passion anymore for this guy now....I never want to have sex or be intimate in anyway because I don't feel like it with him.....yet I love this person to death, I don't know what I would do without him, he has been there for me in everyway and so understanding and i would never want to intentionally hurt him...and we do argue alot and we both have anger issues to work through but for some reason I have to remind this guy to pick up after himself every single day...I mean get this I have to remind him to brush his teeth on somedays...I feel like his mother alot, and yet if I don't tell him those things he would never do anything around the house and other personal hygiene neccessities. I just want to feel the spark that we had before but it is no longer there, yet I LOVE this person dearly....but yet no passion is left....and we both are going to the same college next year that means we are going to have to move again and that is fine,,,I just need to know what I should do in order to get the spark back or if its too late and if I should leave the person I love and somehow move on.......?????? please I need help...anything is appericated and by the way I am 21 and he is 23 if that helps you any
RomanceClass.com Advice
You need to let him know that no spark is left.
This is too important to hold inside of you. It may mean the end of your relationship or it may be the beginning of a newly intense relationship. Honesty and openness can do wonders for the sparkplugs.
One reason I suspect you have lost the spark is that he is using you as his mother (as you said) and so you feel like his mother and not his lover. This has to change if there is any hope of the spark coming back.
Honesty will also reduce the anger and arguing problems. Make sure you have honest conversations that don't turn into fights.
Hope some of this helps!
George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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