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[Love is] to be two and at the same time one. --Sonya Levien



Lonely and Tired of Feeling Lonely



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I need to know how to stop the pain of lonliness. I have been alone for two years after a doomed four year relationship. She wanted kids, I didn't, and I lied to her and myself the whole time. I don't want to bother anymore trying to find the right woman, there is none for me. I know this and have accepted it. I just need to know how not to "care" anymore. I'm only 26, and I don't want to live for the next 60 years with this pain.




RomanceClass.com Advice
First off, have hope. You are only 26 years old and life will certainly change. Remember when you were 18 and thought that was the limit of life? Things change. They always do. And always for the better, even if it does dip downward for short periods of time. The first step is recognizing what you're feeling and what you don't like about it. You're there! So now it's about changing your situation so you can change how you feel.

If you're lonely, then the cure for it is activity. Join in with others, whether it be in a club or a church or a social group, somewhere where you will meet and make friends, people who will enjoy you for you. What matters to erasing loneliness is meaninful attachments, but not necessarily a lover / life partner.

The best way of feeling less lonely is to make others feel less lonely. Consider donating your time to a good cause, whether it is volunteering for a good cause, helping at your local nursing home or library, working at a town hall meeting, or helping with a fire department. You'll find yourself surrounded by people who are all looking to help the greater good. It'll make you feel better as well.


I wish you the best.


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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