he doesn't think he can further our relationship because I have a 3 1/2 year old son
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have a friend...you may remember my submission in the "general dating" category...you titled it "Counseling Definitely needed". I have a problem. My "boyfriend" told me last friday that he doesn't think he can "change his mind" and go ahead and further our relationship just because of the simple fact that I have a 3 and a half year old son. He says that it scares him, the thought of becoming a father "instantly" and he's always had this "vision" of what he would like in his future wife, and he says he doesn't want to date other people, but he wanted to give people "more options" and said that he may find out that people he dates won't treat me the way I have treated him...which he says, I'm "perfect" as in everything he looks for in a girl, personality wise, but that after 2 years of dating, he just can't get past the fact of me having a son and he feels like he might hold a grudge against him if we got married. But he says I'm perfect, otherwise. I feel very hurt, but he said he didn't want to hurt me. We're both Christians and he said he's prayed about it, but hasn't got an answer from God as to if he should keep dating me and ask me to marry him, so I'm very confused, please help.
Do you want to put your son in this situation? I think not.
Your boyfriend has already indicated serious reservations about being an "instant father." This means there is some problem between him and your son.
My advice is to let your boyfriend do what he wants and see what happens. But, if he comes back to you then he has to get counseling before you let him come back.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com