to the point...I am in love with my best friend

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
hello. to the point...I am in love with my best friend. We met last april (2004)on the internet and our connection bloomed overnight. She had a boyfriend (who was away in the air force training) but at first I was just happy to have a friend. Eventually she began telling me of how mean he was becoming and how distant he acted and that she had feelings for me. I told her I had them as well. In the following months she had confessed that she deeply wished to be with me but "if fate says it will happen, it will". Since then he has returned from the Air Force, and nearest I can tell, is treating her better, but still attempts to impose his personal religious and political views on him. She also told me "she could never see us dating" during a fight we had last september, days before he returned. Even though we never get to see each other, we speak on the phone for several hours, several times a week. Her political, philosophicalm, religious,a nd personal views on life are verbatim what mine are, and she admitted that she has told me things that her boyfriend would never understand. I KNOW there is a strong, romantic and mental connection between us and that we are two of a kind, but due to every previous boyfriend breaking her heart, she truly truly wants this current relationship to work. I just need to know what I can do to win her into my life and make her the happiest person in the world. I've scaled back my accessibility, but that ends up making us both incredibly unhappy, as we need each other. I can only get so close to her as well, since we seldom see each other (which will be rectified once I get my car) and when I say too much, I frighten her away like I did back in September. Any help you can give will be invaluable. My love for her is pure, so nothing is out of the question, as she is the only one for me.
Thank You Advice
Your most realistic hope is that she loses her interest in this other fellow.

This would suggest that you make him at least part of your conversation so that she realizes that he is not for her. Continue your current discussions, just make sure to work him into the discussion every so often.

Also, keep a close eye on her because she is cheating on her boyfriend with you. Do you want that kind of woman to be your's? It's a very important question for you to consider. What's to stop her from doing the same thing to you. You might discuss this with her also.

All in all, you are in a precarious situation because of her inability to make up her mind.

Finally, and this is not meant as a jab at you, but you have to realize that you are trying to break up a relationship which is generally not a good thing to do.

Best wishes!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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