I want my boyfriend back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
well me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago. we were together for about 3 years. we are still in love with each other and this girl calls him all the time because she likes him and i'm so afraid that they will mess around when she comes back home in april. and me and my ex still hang out together and make love. he told me the other day that he can't leave me alone and he will always love me. that got to me because if he still loves me and can't leave me alone then why can't we be together?
i want him back so bad but i just don't know how to get him back. is their a way that i can get my ex lover back? i've talked to so many love doctors and they just don't help me. I am so in love right now it does not make any sense.
Is their a poem or something that i can do to make him realize that we were meant to be? i really hope so because i just want to say something to him that will hit him and make him want to be with me again. PLEASE HELP ME OUT .
You guys were together for 3 years. That's a very long time. Something pretty significant must have been wrong to drive you apart. People don't just "leave" a relationship that is good, having to deal with all the pain and heartbreak and everything else.
So it is time to sit down with your ex and have a serious talk. Read my notes on the site in the how-to area about how to set it up. And when you are sitting and ready to listen to each other, talk about WHY you broke up. This isn't the time to be mamby-pamby, you're trying to save the relationship. Talk about it honestly, seriously. Say what you really felt was wrong. Ask him what he really felt was wrong. Don't get upset at what he says. He has a right to feel the way he does, even if you don't agree. But get EVERYTHING out so you can both look at what it is.
And then talk about ways you can TOGETHER work on the issues. There is always a way to work on any issue if the two of you actively want to. And you guys have to be TOGETHER to work on them. You have to make a commitment to each other and the relationship. A relationship isn't about running off when things get bad. It's about through the highs AND lows that normal life gives you.
If he's not willing to work on things with you, then it simply can't work. A relationship can NEVER NEVER be about one person forcing or tricking the other person into wanting to stay. You can't read him a poem or play him a song and have his happen. He has to WANT it to happen. And the issue is that something about what you two had was NOT what he wanted to put effort into working on.
So the only way this will work is if you two BOTH sit down, BOTH talk about what was wrong, and BOTH agree to actively work on fixing it together.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Pull away from him
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