He Left Me for an Arranged Marriage
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi. I was dating this guy for like 3 months. A day before the 4th month anniversary He said he's parents have arranged his marriage with a close relative's daughter. This hurted me so much!. I felt like its end of the world and that's it I cannot go on with my life. I try not to talk with him but he calls me every single day. He even plans to meet and wants to spend time with me. I see him because I don't know what else to do and i love him.
He is currently engaged to this girl and two days after his engagement he wanted to meet me. So we met and he was crying. He said let me cry because he can't do this in front of no one else. Just 1 month ago his family were thinking about doing court marriage so the girl can come and live with the family. He came to me again and cried. I explained him why you crying. You do not make your own decision and you let other make decision for you. you should be happy that your getting married.
But than today he went to see her, and he told me two days before leaving.
I really don't know what to tell him or what I should do. He called me like 20 times probably wanted to say oh im leave to go see her. I'm still getting more and more hurt and I know that if I don't stop talking/seeing him. I will never go on with my life.
What I should do??????? Sometime I feel like telling him off and hurt him.. He was not honest and hurted me so bad. I don’t know if he’s happy in his relationship. Maybe he is.
It really sounds like he should take a few steps back and THINK about what he is doing. A marraige is a life long commitment to your FUTURE SPOUSE that must be done with full honest, full commitment and full DESIRE to make it work. This guy is crying because he doesn't WANT to marry her!! That's the exact WRONG way to even start a marriage.
He should NOT marry her just because his parents tell him to do. Marriage is one of the most serious things and adult can possibly do. If he's getting married, he's an adult. And this is the most important thing for him to get right for *him*, not for anyone else. When you marry for family or money or any other reason, none of it helps you when you are now in your own house together, you and your wife/husband, having to deal with each other every single day for the rest of your life. If you are at all forced or cajoled into the situation, it will affect your entire relationship.
Parents have their own lives, their own marriages. They made their own situation. They cannot force their children to then marry according to their wishes - their children are adults and have been raised to be fully functional adults. This means making their own decisions about who and when to love. You wouldn't expect your parents to come into your bedroom at night and tell you how and when to touch your lover, would you? If they are not supposed to be involved in that part of your life, what right do they have to be telling you WHO to be intimate with?
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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