went to the mall and a movie. But before the movie we went back to his house and ended up cuddling in his bed
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Hey sorry I write in here so much, but everybody else I talk to never seems to understand any more of my situation than I do! Anyways, this time I am not asking advice on what I should do in my situation, but rather wondering if you could provide some insight on some things my ex *may* be thinking/feeling.
I have been extremely confused for the past week, and everybody I talk to is just as confused. Well, last time I wrote I talked about how my ex and I hooked up about a week ago. Well, after that, we went to hang out with separate friends, but ended up at the same party, where he got upset cuz there were rumours I was making out with a girl (not true though) and he got so upset, so I went and sat and talked with him for awhile, and we both said how awkward it was for us cuz we did not expect to see eachother at that party, especially after whta had happened between us that day. Well we went home separately, and at about 2:30 in the morning we were talking online and he ended up calling me and he came over. I was sick from drinking too much. Basically he stayed overnight and we fell asleep in eachothers arms in my bed and cuddled all night, and when I felt sick he would kiss me on the forehead to feel better.
I did not however get a chance to talk to him about his feelings before he went to Toronto, as was your last advice. But, I know his mind was on me. I know this because he actually called me while there! It's a 4 hour drive from my house, he's on vacation with his friends, and he actually calls me while they were walking around downtown to talk and ask if I wanted to hang out that week. It was a huge surprise to me. And then, the next day, on the actual drive home with his friends, he called me again.
We ended up hanging out today, and went to the mall and a movie. But before the movie we went back to his house and ended up cuddling in his bed.
Now, we are still "just friends". I've let him know that unless we are dating I do not want to mess around again (to make sure he's not using me for that), but we do cuddle and hold eachother, and when he dropped me off at home we pecked on the lips goodbye. He "tells" me he does not want to date anyone else, but obviously he doesn't want to date me either. However, he acts very interested in me. I have a journal I write in every day online, and he reads every entry, which he was never as interested in while we were dating. He never used to just call me to talk when he was out with his friends while we were dating either, especially from a vacation. I've already established that the more I act like I don't care about our breakup, and go out and have fun on my own, the more he seems to be calling, talking, and wanting to see me. But as soon as I express any feelings about wanting to have a relationship again, he seems to back off more, so I continue to act like I don't care. But what is he doing?? Is it like baby steps before he may ever go back with me?? With all the calling and cuddling, etc, but saying we're "just friends", I am so confused as to what he is thinking and wants. What he says and the way he acts are two completely different things. Is it just a matter of time do you think before he realizes he wants a relationship again?? Or do you think eventually this will stop and his feelings towards me will really be just friends?? He acts like it is so normal for two "friends" to be this way, when people who are just friends do not act like this (and I know he does not act anything like this with other female friends).
Thanx again so much! This is the most confusing situation!
Seems like friends with tiny benefits.
Like anyone else, he needs the gentle affection that you are giving each other. He seems serious about not wanting a close relationship with anyone right now.
Your approach is a very good one and gives him an easy opportunity to go back to being a boyfriend if he feels like it.
All you can do is wait and enjoy what you have.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com