I need help in understanding and changing my jealousy thoughts
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Your help will be greatly appreciated!!!
I met a beautiful woman about 2 years ago. I moved into her house, and we were engaged very quickly. We had a very passionate relationship that ended after about 1 year. A lot of the problems were because of my jealousy and insecurities. She is the most amazing woman in the world. She has tons of friends and a few of them are males. I was always very jealous of them and it caused alot of fights. I wasnt worried about her cheating with them. I just felt she was too close to them. too much hugging and a closeness that made me very insecure. The words that were used I felt should only be expressed to me. She attracts alot of people and has a very magnetic personality. When accuquaintences (males) would hug her or put there hand on her knee whenever we were out, it would drive me crazy. She is a very extraverted person and I am rather introverted. The jealousy causes alot of pain in my stomach, almost to the point where I can not function. I felt very insecure being with her. It has been one year since we have been together, and I have not stop thinking about her since we seperated. I contacted her recently and soon found out that she still has feelings for me. We have met and the sparks have only gotten stronger. I love her very much. and I could not, and do not want to imagine anyone else in my life. I am writing to you, because I want find ways to ease my jealousy. I want so much for her to be happy, and I would love more then anything. If I could be in her life and we could grow as a couple. I do not want to loose her again. I need help in understanding and changing my jealousy thoughts. Please Help!!!!
Have you thought about seeing a counselor?
That's my advice... you can get professional help with your problems.
I happen to agree that your combination of extroverted and introverted is a classical jealousy producer. I would not be too pleased to have to go through some of what you described.
Yet, it is probably worth it to you to work your way through your problems and get back together with her. That is why a professional counselor could help you since that person presumably has learned how to conquer jealous feelings.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com