Found out that she was pregnant. Almost immediately afterwards, she broke up with me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Dated a girl (shes 21)for about 3 months. Fell in love with her. Found out that she was preagnant. Almost immediately afterwards, she broke up with me cold turkey, and out of nowhere. Won't even allow me to touch her or contact her unless she contacts me first. Says she wants to date other people and is trying to see a guy from our work ( I got a hunch shes lying, cause everyone at work is taken). I'm all good with giving her some space, but I continue to struggle with problems:
1: The thought of somone else having sex with her, pictured in my head, upsets my stomach so bad I feel like I want to puke.
2: She IS preagnant, but refuses to tell me anything about it, saying "I don't need to worrry about it" and "It's none of my buisness". I think I deserve to know what the deal is with her preagnancy, our relationship aside, but everytime I bring it up, she threatens to never talk to me again, or get a restraining order on me or somthing if I don't change the subject:P
Basically, she has cut me off from all aspects of her life. I'm not allowed to go into work when shes getting off (She told her boss that i distract her) nor am I allowed to go by her house unless she calls me first. The only time I DO see her is when we hang out with freinds when we are off, and even lately shes been avoiding me in that crowd as well. Granted, during our break up, I did hound her relentlessly, but you have to understand, with the baby in the picture, and the fact I still love her, I did'nt know what else to do but try to talk to her. Finally, now that I'm basically cut off from her, I'm starting to take freinds advice and just stay away from her. The pain though still remains. Wondering who she's hanging out with at night, and possibly dating, wondering where she is, wondering about the baby. It hurts so bad sometimes, I have dreams about it, feel sick to my stomack, am losing my appitite. I just hope I'll hear from her soon.
P.S. One of the most terrible things she's said to me is concerning the baby. She likes to party, drink and do drugs on occasion. I asked told her that if she does plan on having this baby, she should probably cut back on some of that stuff. Her response was that she didn't really care. I'm begining to think that If she keeps up this lifestyle, she will either miss-carry the baby, or have it come out with birth defects.
Any advice would help.
Do you know for a fact that you are the father?
Are you positive that she is still pregnant?
You should consider these possibilities and see if they matter to you.
If a baby is born and you can prove your parentage then you have certain rights and responsibilities (including college bills). Think hard as to whether you want these responsibilities.
My advice is to take her at face value that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you and move on with your life. Realistically, what do you expect to happen that would make you happy. Probably nothing.
My best guess is that she is no longer pregnant or you are not the father.
Sorry for the grim advice!!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Is she pregnant?