I want my ex back
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I'm really not into long term realationships after all im only 15! They never work out for me.. but after i met this guy that dumped me after three months, Thats all i wish for!! I guess i did play around with him kind of and wasnt taking it very serioulsy but now that i lost him. I noticed how much he meens to me. All i can think of is being with him and now i dont know how to get him back.
I'm playing it cool and pretending i dont like him anymore. We still talk like we're good friends but thats not what i want. What should i do? Life just isnt the same without him..
It's definitely much easier to realize what you have when it's gone. That was in a song :) You can easily take things for granted when you have them and even think they're not worth much. But once you don't have them any more, you realize what you are missing.
Step 1 in a relationship is not to play games with the person. If you're pretending you don't like him and playing it cool, that's not very good. Why would you actively lie to someone, especially someone that you want to be with? The BASIS for any relationship is honestly. Honesty honesty honesty. Not playing games and pretending. I'm not saying you have to stalk up to him and say "I WANT YOU!!" But outright lying and deception is really bad.
He's been hurt by you, he doesn't want to be hurt again. That's normal. So you need to TALK to him about this. Sit down with him alone. Say that you're sorry you hurt him. That you were mixed up and didn't realize how much you cared for him, and that it was a mistake. I imagine he'll be VERY happy to hear that. And then watch how he reacts. If he seems sort of neutral, leave it at that but let those thoughts sort of simmer in his brain a while, and keep being friends with him. If he seems interested in you, then make sure he knows that you are open to dating him again. But don't push him. He needs to get through the rebound and come to the decision himself.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Admit You're Sorry