Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 11 months now, and our relationship is very solid and full of fun and love. I'm 17, and she is 16. We both love eachother very much, and we both lost our virginity to eachother. Our relationship is very special to the both of us for numerous reasons, mainly because this is our first solid relationship.
I am fully aware that I have a jealousy problem at this point, I just want to get some advice on how to solve my problem.
My girlfriend has two brothers and one brother her parents adopted. She is closer to the adopted brother than her biological brothers. She tells him everything, and even borrows condoms from him. This makes me very jealous..I feel as if she shouldn't be that close to someone that isn't her biological brother.
Since she has two brothers, guys are always hanging out at her house and talking to her brothers. I've noticed that the guys tend to flirt with my girlfriend, not in a direct way, but a stupid, playful way. My girlfriend is a physical type person and likes to push and slap people around in a playful nature. So it makes me jealous when i see my girlfriend pushing around another guy because it looks like she is flirting.
One more thing, I worry that whenever my girlfriend gets off the phone with me at the night that she is going to call another guy that I don't know about and talk to him. This sounds outrageous, and i'm aware of it, but my mind tends to wander. She has lots of guy friends, which some are her ex-boyfriends, and every now and then one calls her on her cell phone for whatever reason. I get very jealous and wonder if she is ever on the phone with one of them.
My girlfriend is extremely sweet ,and assures me she loves me everyday verbally and physically. I couldn't ask for a sweeter girl, this is why i need help. Please address my problem and tell me what I should do. Thank you !!
I read your query and the bottom line is to forget your jealousy.
She, as you say, a sweet girl who trats you just as you want. Don't try to make her over into somebody else... it won't work. She has grown up with brothers which naturally means she will be more flirtaceous with guys and have physical contact with them.
Don't let this worry you. It is part of why you are attracted to her.
To beat jealousy, you have to attack it head on with all you've got. It's not an easy or quick thing, but it's a nasty habit which can ruin relationships. Whenever you feel jealousy show its ugly face just tell it to get lost... that your girlfriend loves you and nobody else. After 100 times or so, the jealousy will give up and stop bugging you.
Trust your girlfriend... this is a very important aspect of a good relationship. Talk with her honestly, sincerely, and lovingly and you will discover that most of your troubles will drift away.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com