I'm flirting with a girl, she has a boyfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
This has been really bothering me of late so here it is!! There is this girl that has been with her boyfriend for a long time, but me and her have been friends for about 2 months or so and are showing interest for one another and flirtatious. The problem is, is that about a few days ago, I let her know how I felt and how I have feelings for her that I have never had before with anyone, ever!!! And she responded back to me saying how she likes me too, that I am sweet, I'm very cute, and always bringing a smile to her face everyday. She also says that she wants us to talk more not just in school though, but all she can offer right now is an friendship and asking to be my friend for now.
But she did ask me if I have ever liked two people at the same time and she is confused right now cuz she loves her boyfriend but then I came along and she doesn't know what she is trying to say. She is very confused right now and so am I!!! But then again she calls me a lot and I call her, so what I am asking is, is what does this mean, what should I do, is it possible she has mixed feelings, and any other advice you can give me please!!!!!!!!!!!! Cuz I am crazy about her and I don't ever want to be without her!!!!!! Thanks
Humans *definitely* like two people at a time - usually they like MORE than two people at a time! It's a healthy part of life. If she only liked her boyfriend and hated all other guys I'd worry that something was wrong with her.
So treasure the friendship you have with her and enjoy it. Be her friend, be there to talk to her and care for her and listen to her. But don't try to break her up with her boyfriend. Commitment is an important part of life. She needs to decide what to do with her boyfriend on her own.
If she stays with him, then you still have her as a great friend and that is very special. If she chooses eventually to leave him, it has to be for reasons between *her and him* - not because you made her. Because remember, if *you* can come along and convinvce her to leave her current boyfriend, then when YOU are dating her, someone else could come along just as easily. There are always more guys out there in the world. The key in life is to work on the relationship you have and to make it work without simply "abandoning" it because something else came along.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com