My fiance is an extremely nice and caring man. I love him a lot. But I have a huge jealousy issue

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm engaged to be married next summer. My fiance is an extremely nice and caring man. I love him a lot. But I have a huge jealousy issue. I know that it is my problem and not his but I get so angry at him when he talks to (some) other women. Because he is so nice he talks to them in the same way that he talks to me. When I tell him how I feel, instead of reassuring me that he loves me, he gets angry at me. He gets jealous too, and when he does I reassure him and make him feel better. I don't know why he has such a hard time telling me nice things. He has no problem bragging about me when I'm not around, but does not communicate these things directly to me. Am I being irrational? Is this only my problem, or are both of us missing out on something? Please Help.
R* Advice
Both of you need to change a little.

Approach this when you have a chance for a quiet, gentle, honest, open, trusting conversation where you can share your feelings especially about jealousy.

In my opinion you have to give up your jealousy. You said he is just being his natural self and you are not going to change that nor should you want to. To get rid of jealousy, attack it with everything you have whenever it rears its ugly head. Tell it to go away and leave you alone, that your boyfriend loves you and only you. After 100 times or so the jealous feelings will give up trying to bug you and go away.

Now as for your boyfriend, he needs to compliment you more. I assume you are willing to help him out at first. To help him remember have a secret signal that you give to him when you need for him to say something nice. Whenever he sees that signal he has to say something nice about you. If you are alone, he should be able to do it right away. If you are in public he will need a few minutes to work it into the conversation.

By doing these things you will both feel much happier in your relationship.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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