I want this girl back, but she already after a month has a new boyfriend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My first love just broke up with me after she moved back home and transferred colleges. She lives 4 hours away, and we originally were planning on making it work, but she said we grew apart and changed her mind. She loves her home and family, and originally was ok with moving to my area since we own houses around here, but as it got to the point where she would actually have to do it, I think she got a little scared of it. I have to live near a city, I am an engineering student...however, she does as well, since her psychology degree is not going to get her anything in her home town, and I stress the word town. I think she's clinging to her youth, she hates college and hates thinking about the future. Her bond with her mom is real strong and she doesn't want to leave her. Me on the other hand, would move to wherever I reasonably can to accomidate her. I was new to this relationship thing, I didn't see that she was growing apart. I screwed some things up, I was drunk and flipped out over something small on our anniversary, I forgot to call her on her birthday...both very important days to her...but she stayed with me and we stayed happy up until the semester ended. I want this girl back, but she already after a month has a new boyfriend, a kid at home who she has always been good friends with. She says she loves me and I will always be a part of her, but she says this is what she wants right now. I understand that I will not get her back anytime soon. I'm going to try to move on, but in 21 years I've only found one girl I actually liked to hug and hold. That's her. I'm her second love but like 10th relationship. We were together 18 months. I want her back in like, 2 or 3 years after we graduate and get established jobs...and I truly believe in the end that this is still the girl I want to marry, everything about us was fate-esque, and maybe I needed to go through this. I am a better person now and I can truly appreciate happiness. Our child would be too cute to never be born. I really believe that. I believe in fate and that this is still the girl I want to marry. Am I being too optimistic? And if not, how do I play this if I want the chance to get her back in 2 years (I understand she may fall in love with the right person in this time but that I cannot change that if it happens)? I love this girl and I would never do anything to hurt her. I don't know if she realizes that even though I've told her. I wouldn't do it because I need her in my life and she's seen that by what this sudden change in her mind has done to me. Please help however you can.
You have all your eggs in one basket.
You have only had one girl in your life that you liked to hug and hold. She has had 10 or 11 and may have more before your two year time is up. You can see how your perspective on the situation is different than hers.
You need to maintain a close relationship (as a friend) with her and don't let it go. Don't try to make it more that a friendship right now.
Who knows what will happen in two years, things may go your way or not. Just be positioned to be in the right place and do the right things at the right time.
I hope this situation turns out well for you!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com